My top 10 favorite Count Olaf disguises (ranked)

 

Count Olaf: an evil man

Is there something wrong with me if my comfort show literally has the word "unfortunate" in it?

If you've never watched A Series of Unfortunate Events then you, dear Sir/Madam, have missed a masterpiece of drama, comedy, satire, literary fiction, dark humor and the best spy thriller there ever was.

The most enchanting thing that keeps the series alive is the numerous disguises we see in every other episode of the main villain of the show Count Olaf. (beware children, he is a very evil man)

He is introduced to us in the very first episode as the guardian of the newly orphaned Baudelaire children. But the children claim that they've never heard of him before from their parents. Nevertheless, the banker- Mr. Poe, takes the orphans to Count Olaf and gives a brief account of his life. It is then that we come to know, that the Count is actually a famous actor.

Even though the Baudelaire children insist that they've never heard of him, Mr. Poe sticks to the point and says that he has been mentioned in several small time magazines. (a fact which is repeated throughout the show by the man Olaf himself)

From that moment onwards, there begins (and a Bad Beginning indeed) a series of unfortunate events (terrible pun but I had to do it) that includes the iconic disguises of the villain cum actor Count Olaf. And even though nobody asked for it, I will be ranking my favorite disguises of the great man.

1. Stephano

Alright, so Stephano was the best disguise of Count Olaf, argue with the wall.

Not only this was the first proper disguise he took to capture the Baudelaire fortune but Stephano kicked started the whole "disguising and capturing the Baudelaire fortune" system.

And the character of Stephano had everything to get us hooked with an anticipation of Count Olaf's future disguises. (I personally think that Stephano was the only disguise in which it was a little difficult to recognize that it's Count Olaf)

He had a solid reason to be present at Uncle Monty's mansion, having gotten rid of his assistant Gustav earlier. He had a lore: "I chase kids up and down the stairs with a knife, it is my  morning exercise." (this is peak comedy really)

He stayed and spied on Uncle Monty and the kids without breaking his character. (we will ignore the fact that the Baudelaires recognized him)

The highlight of this character is definitely his unfiltered sense of humor. He will not care if you're parents died in a fire, or if you want to go to Peru, or if you're a third-grade banker who just crashed his car. Stephano will attack you're emotional health unfiltered and leave you scarred.

Okay, this is my favorite scene:

Stephano: Don't you just miss the vivid imagination of childhood?

Mr. Poe: I don't know. I never had one.

Stephano: What, an imagination or a childhood?

2. Dr. Mattathias Medical School

Throughout the entire show, Count Olaf has been portrayed as a terrible third-rate actor. I, on the other hand, seriously believe that he has the talent. 

The alias "Dr. Mattathias Medical School" was made on the spur of a moment and what genius it took!

To create a brand new alias when the head of the hospital administration is standing just before you with a dreading clipboard, this action speaks for itself of the acting and "villainy" skills of Count Olaf.

(this line is just- "My name is...Dr. Mattathias..MeDi-CaL School")

This disguise comes second in my list also because the episodes The Hostile Hospital are my favorite episodes of the entire series.

They have an eerie, haunted hospital check which I absolutely adore (probably a poor choice of word for the vibe but you get it).

The scene where Count Olaf walks through the empty halls, the ceiling lights blinking wildly as he goes, banging a heavy metal against the wall, in search of the Baudelaire children is truly terrifying and a reminder that he is the villain of the series.

A man with a ruthless ambition for fortune for which he can cross any limits.

3. Captain Julio Sham

Count Olaf did a great job with Captain Julio Sham, he created a sea lore for the captain, walked on a peg for the entire disguise, faked a wonderful accent throughout but still never did let go of the peak comedy streak.

He kept the alias alive by faking an accidental meeting with Aunt Josephine in the market,  singing a terrible sea-song to Mr. Poe and cracking lame sea jokes occasionally.

He manipulated Aunt Josephine very cleverly and revealed who he was in a cafe and threatened her to hand over the Baudelaire children. 

Everything was going smoothly but then he encounters Larry the Waiter waiting to sabotage his meeting with Mr. Poe and things started to go downhill.

Later, we discover that Aunt Josephine faked her death and hid herself in a distant island. It was a rejoice for the Baudelaires to know that their guardian was alive...well, not for long anyways.

Count Olaf have killed many people before but the murder of Aunt Josephine felt more ruthless than any other because he killed her in front of the poor three orphan children who thought they finally found a home with a fierce and formidable Aunt Josephine.

4. Coach Genghis

This has to be Count Olaf's most stylist and fashionable disguise ever.

The alias Coach Genghis stands out because of his unique turban ornamented with a red stone jewellery, kohl under the eyes, a goatee style beard and the "saltiest" and "sassiest" personality you'll ever encounter.

Violet: Stop the music! Everyone listen, please!

Vice-Principal Nero (stops playing violin): How dare you interrupt a genius!

Coach Genghis: And his guest violinist.

(this is from the show adaptation)

When it was time for the Count Olaf and his crew to infiltrate Prufrock Preparatory School, he discovered that his good for nothing acting crew had not brought enough materials for a proper disguise. So the genius "third-rate" actor put together some stuff which was left behind by the gym members of the school on a bus and showed up with the iconic two sizes below tracksuit as Coach Genghis, the new gym teacher of Prufrock Prep School.

This disguise also proved lucky for him as he successfully managed to kidnap, if not the Baudelaires, but the Quagmire children- Duncan and Isadora.

5. Shirley 

Two words: nailed it.

We get to see Count Olaf in a yet another iconic disguise in The Miserable Mill, and admit it, her entry was a shocker and a heartbreaker at the same time. 

From the start of The Miserable Mill, there was a deliberate anticipation that the Baudelaire parents were alive and were coming back to their children. While working in the mill, the Baudelaires are called to the visiting area and it was truly heartbreaking (an outright cruel) to see Shirley (Count Olaf) and Georgina enter through the gates instead of the two people we were being showed as possibly the Baudelaire parents...

Anyways, back to Shirley.

Count Olaf shows up as a pure fashionista woman, with a tight pencil skirt, a light pink top with frilly sleeves, the reddest lipstick ever and the hair. A bright orange-red wig with two large, stiff curls that sit comically atop her head. The wig clashes heavily with her pink, frilly outfit and I think it gives her great character.

(I just have to include this little scene, it is so funny)

Shirley: Hi! I'm Cookie, shirley?

*gets kicked by Georgina*

Shirley: Hi! I'm Shirley, cookie?

6. Detective Dupin

I think Count Olaf might actually be great actor...

We meet the scatta-tatting Detective Dupin in The Vile Village where Count Olaf also included Esme Squalor in his crew who appears as Officer Luciana. 

The color palette of this disguise goes perfect with the vile atmosphere of the V.F.D village. Detective Dupin's key feature includes constant scatting and a futile attempt to be an officer cum musician. 

Along with Officer Luciana, he takes over the authority of the village and when his identity is exposed to Jacques Snicket, who came in pursuit of Count Olaf to the village, he again takes a ruthless decision and kills Jacques...

But even this wasn't enough. Detective Dupin then puts the entire blame of Jacques', or rather Count Olaf's death, on the Baudelaire children and accuses Sunny Baudelaire, a literal child, of brutally killing the man.

The scene when he accuses Sunny of the crime feels both equally comical and frustrating. Truly, the series is full of unfortunate events and the only noble people present are met with terrible fate.

7. Gunther

Count Olaf comes up with disguise of an auctioneer to successfully get the Quagmires out of town. Around that time, the news was flooded with his wanted posters and there were literal helicopter searches going on for the man. 

Despite all this, it was easy for him to infiltrate the pent house of the Squalors as Gunther by the help, as it was later revealed, of "Esme Gigi Geneve Squalor- city's sixth most important financial advisor!"

Gunther really was a little surprise (at least for me) as a Count Olaf disguise. With a long, sleek white ponytail, expensive suit and a fake foreigner persona. I personally liked the unique accent he faked for the alias. It is an exaggerated European sort of accent with a mix of bad German and French to make it sound like the character is poor at grasping English.

Gunther was also a better musician than the rapper Detective Dupin (though that doesn't affect my disguise ranking) and his performance "Keep chasing your schemes" at the Cafe Salmonela was very entertaining, really. Compared to this, the "Blueprint song" by Detective Dupin was a step down.

8. Yessica Haircut

This disguise was a joke, especially the alias, but I love it.

Technically, this was the first disguise Count Olaf took to initiate his scheme to steal the Baudelaire fortune. This time as well his crew forgot to bring the costumes but the genius villain was not to be deterred by it. He arranged the hat, the scarf, the glasses and the coat in just a few seconds by pick pocketing people walking in the streets.

The ability of Count Olaf to come up with an alias at the last second is very underrated and is not appreciated enough! 

He came up with "Yess..sica...Haircut" literally after Mr. Poe's receptionist asks for his name.

He manipulates Mr. Poe...somehow (but then anyone could've manipulated that man) into transferring the custody of the Baudelaires to "a renowned actor- Count Olaf" from Uncle Monty. Clever, yes, very clever. Not only is our villain a talented actor but also a sheer manipulator.

Nevertheless, his ethics are a insanely questionable, one can't argue with this fact.

9. Normal dad on a vacation

Guys, he was just a normal dad on vacation. Probably the only normal alias of Count Olaf's. 

Nothing fancy, no over the top costumes or over-complicated accents, just a tourist with his wife, Esme and a lovely (another questionable topic) daughter, Carmelita.

This disguise was so bland that Count Olaf didn't even bothered naming his character. Just a normal dad on vacation.

But that's absolutely why this disguise occupies a space in my list, because it was so bland and comical (I'm very weird, so questions as to sanity might pop-up in your minds, that's okay)

10. Kit Snicket 

I don't even know why this disguise (if you can call it one) is on my list but I knew I had to add it. I mean, what is this? Sea weed thrown together with a rusted helmet to fake the look of a pregnant woman. This was the only disguise, I suppose, that people actually saw through (even though they were under the influence of a drug, the islanders were not to be fooled by this one)

I think I add this last on my list because it marks the final disguise that Count Olaf took to complete his plan of stealing the Baudelaire fortune.

He was left alone, caged even, on a remote island where people saw him as a threat, with none of his hench people around but still he took one final attempt towards his desire of becoming rich...

The disguise of Kit Snicket marked the end of the terror that Count Olaf had prevailed on the Baudelaire orphans for so long. It also marked the end of a tragic story of a young man from an opera who saw his father die from the hands of a friend and after which he took the path of evil to follow for the rest of his life.

We all know who the real villain was...

This right here, ladies and gentlemen, is sits the real villain of the entire show/books/movie.

While Count Olaf was busy in coming up with new schemes and disguises to capture the Baudelaire and their fortune, the respectable banker, Mr. Poe struggled to do the one job that was given to him. 

To look after the Baudelaires.

This man was blind, sick, stupid, oblivious till the very end, and what not, you name it.

I have one last message for Mr. Arthur Poe- "Sir, either take a cough medicine or respectfully die in a hole.

Thank you."

What was your favorite disguise?

I know this list does not includes every Count Olaf disguise (like Jacques Snicket, Count Omar/Ringmaster, Lonely Bartender) but the article was way longer than I expected so I decided to only do a top 10 of my list.

If this list somehow missed your favorite disguise, do let me know!